#AND I AM NOT INTERESTED IN HEARING YOU DEFEND IT. BECAUSE. GET THIS. I ALREADY HAVE BEEN IN THE CHURCH

[aropride]

peace and love to the ones that dont suck but what is it about christianity that makes people need to become the most insufferable people alive

[bosbas]

Chapter 12: I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 3.5k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, insane amounts of pining, idiots in love!!, in their friends era... or are they?, the slow burn is slowww burningggg i'm so sorry

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

A/N: I am BACK sorry for my absence I promise I won't leave for that long again <3

July 12, 1816 – It seems that the summer heat is not the only thing causing a stir within the ton. Recently, the Montclair and Bridgerton families have been seen in each other’s company more frequently than usual. Could there be a more permanent union on the horizon?

Lord Philippe Montclair and Mr. Colin Bridgerton have been spotted in deep conversation on multiple occasions, discussing matters that appear far more serious than the usual lighthearted banter one would expect. Indeed, whispers suggest that their discussions have involved future business ventures and mutual interests, signaling a burgeoning camaraderie between the two gentlemen.

Regardless, the warmth between the two families is palpable, leading this author to wonder if we shall soon hear the sound of wedding bells. Stay vigilant, dear readers. Though no one shall stay more vigilant than this author.

As you walked home from the modiste with Eloise by your side, you noted the afternoon sun filtering through the leaves high atop the trees surrounding you. You had suggested a shortcut back to your respective homes, opting to go through the park rather than the busy streets, and you were mostly thankful for the silence of the greenery around you. Mostly.

“So, will you be joining us for dinner tonight?” asked Eloise expectantly, gently nudging your shoulder with hers.

You groaned and screwed your eyes shut, already dreading the conversation, and the evening, to come. “Yes, Mother has been quite insistent that I go. I think she’d kill me if I asked to stay home one more time.”

“I didn’t know we were that bad,” joked Eloise, only a hint of resentment in her voice.

“Not at all!” you rushed to defend yourself, cringing at the fact that one of your dearest friends was upset with you. “You know that it’s just… Well, I’m sure Colin told you everything. I really can’t bear to face him.”

In all honesty, Eloise’s annoyance was warranted. You had spent the past two weeks avoiding the Bridgertons at all costs, only seeing Eloise at balls or in your own home. The only reason you had gone to Bridgerton House today was because you and Eloise were leaving immediately afterward to go get new dresses, and you were certain you wouldn’t run into Colin.

Not only were you still terribly embarrassed by your assumptions of Colin's character, but you also found yourself strangely drawn to him. Now that nothing prevented you from actually liking him, and now that you knew that he was not a horrible person like you had previously thought, you were in a bit of a conundrum. Colin Bridgerton had charmed you, and you knew that if you let yourself, you could very well start to grow feelings for him.

And that wouldn’t do. No, it absolutely wouldn’t. For starters, the two of you had never managed to get along anyway, so you had no idea how you would even live in relative peace were you to have a future. Even so, your father would never approve, no matter what Lady Whisteldown was alluding to. And so Colin was out of the question as a husband or really anything other than a friend.

But while you had been meticulously maneuvering through your social outings to avoid her family, Eloise had slowly been losing patience. She had tolerated whatever had been going on between you and Colin at the beginning of the season, but it was high time that you stopped acting so childish. Especially after Anthony and Kate’s ball, where the two of you had already apologized for your misunderstanding and subsequent feud.

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen him since that night,” scolded Eloise, crossing her arms in a huff. Then, in a humorous tone, she added, “He doesn’t actually look that bad with a broken nose if that’s what you’re worried about. The swelling has gone down considerably.”

Not able to help yourself, you let out a small snort and smiled at your friend. “No, it’s not that. I’m just so embarrassed. Oh heavens, even just thinking about it I can feel my face getting hot. He did tell you about it, right?”

“Yes,” responded Eloise, giving you a very pointed look. “He was very excited about the fact that you didn’t actually hate him. He wouldn’t stop talking about it for two days. Though now I wonder if that really is the case, given your behavior.”

 “Oh, no,” you groaned, putting your head in your hands in desperation.

“He was quite embarrassed as well, Y/N,” Eloise reminded you gently. “I don’t see why you can barely stand to be in the same room as him even now.”

“I just-” you started, finding it difficult to explain why you had been so against seeing him, or any of his family, really, after the most recent ordeal with Lord Barlow.

But Eloise wasn’t letting you get away with it any longer. She slowed down her previously brisk walk, looking straight into your eyes as she gestured for you to continue.

“I just wasted so much time and energy fighting with him and I’m so ashamed that your family saw that side of me. I didn’t even know I could be that unpleasant! And to make matters worse, it was all for nothing since I was completely in the wrong.”

“Not completely,” Eloise mused. Colin had been quite kind to you in his retelling of the events, and Eloise was inclined to believe her brother’s account.

With a sigh, your friend turned to face you. “I wish you had told me what you thought of him because I would have either helped you realize your mistake or helped you kill him.”

You laughed again, shaking your head as you realized how lucky you were to have Eloise in your life. Linking arms with her, you patted her hand as you explained, “I was just terrified of the recourse. My parents were so insistent that I ‘act ladylike’ that I was scared of revealing I had been unchaperoned in the presence of two men. And besides, I didn’t want to ruin your perception of your brother.”

“Well, regardless, it will all be resolved at dinner tonight, seeing how you’ll be in attendance.”

A soft sigh escaped your lips.

“I certainly hope so.”

---

As you walked into the dining room, a soft smile on your lips as you spoke with Kate, Colin’s breath was stolen from his body. He already hadn’t been expecting to see you, already growing accustomed to having you avoid him, but seeing you look as beautiful as you did now was completely doing him in.

“Y/N,” he whispered from across the room, unable to tear his eyes away from you.

Feeling an elbow digging into his ribs, Colin turned to see Benedict, smirking as he watched his younger brother. “Might I suggest pulling yourself together if you don’t want to scare her away again?”

“Be quiet,” hissed Colin, but he ran a hand through his hair to regain his composure anyway.

“Benedict!” you greeted, delighted at finally seeing him for so long. “And Colin!” you added, hoping your voice didn’t reveal the nervousness you were feeling.

“Lovely to see you again,” said Benedict brightly, squeezing your shoulder.

Then, feigning some obligation or another, the second Bridgerton slipped out of the dining room to join the rest of your families, leaving you alone with Colin. Benedict had been terribly obvious, but the resulting awkwardness that enveloped you and Colin kept you from noticing his brash exit.

“I’m happy you’re here,” Colin spoke, almost timidly. Then, speaking very quickly, he added, “I was fairly confused when I didn’t hear from you for two weeks, but I didn’t want to call on you because we agreed to just be friends and I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression. Though now that I think about it, that might have been the decent thing to do."

Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, Colin looked down at the floor as he waited for your response.

“Not at all!” you rushed out, wanting to reassure him. “It was my fault entirely. I apologize for not speaking with you sooner, I was just a tad embarrassed, as you can probably imagine.”

Colin’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled, feeling at ease now that he was certain you didn’t spontaneously hate him again.

“You were embarrassed? I rather think I should be the one feeling that way,” he laughed. “I still find it hard to believe you could have thought I was that... horrid for so long.”

You put your hands over your face and shook your head. “I can’t believe it either,” you groaned.

Sensing you were getting worked up again, Colin instinctively put a comforting arm around your shoulders, pressing you to him. “No, it’s quite alright. I promise I was just…”

Then, suddenly realizing just how close he was holding you to him, Colin stepped away quickly. Instead of apologizing and drawing even more attention to his overstepping, he settled for clearing his throat awkwardly, clasping his hands behind his back to keep from reaching out to you again.

“It was all in jest, I swear,” promised Colin, realizing he had never finished his earlier sentence.

Before you could respond, Violet walked into the dining room, followed by your family.

“Hello, Y/N!” she greeted you, reaching over to put a hand on your forearm in greeting. “I’m thrilled you’re here! We missed you last week.”

You smiled gratefully back at her, internally chastising yourself for ever wanting to avoid this wonderful family. All because you were scared of facing Colin, who, as it turned out, had a singular talent for making you feel at ease.

“You’re seated here, next to Colin,” indicated Violet, gesturing toward a seat near the end of the dining table.

“Oh,” you breathed out, not expecting to have to be in such proximity to him for the whole night. Realizing you had been impossibly rude, you added, “Thank you very much, I’m sure we’ll have lots to catch up on.”

Four courses later, you were having the time of your life. You were sitting between Francesca and Colin, and both had been keeping you endlessly entertained as you ate. Speaking to Colin came so naturally that you wondered how the two of you had ever managed to fight so much without ever having a proper conversation, save for one or two. It seemed impossible now, the forgone tension between you. Especially when you had to actively ensure that you were talking to Francesca, too, rather than just Colin. But he was just so easy to talk to, and you simply had so much in common that it was proving quite difficult to focus on anything else.

“Are you excited for your season next year?” you asked Francesca, leaning away from Colin so you could concentrate on speaking to her.

“I suppose I’m looking forward to having something of my own,” she responded after chewing thoughtfully. “An experience of my own, that is. It’ll be quite the luxury, especially being from a family as large as mine. Did you ever feel that way?”

You hummed, thinking back on your season. “I felt that way at the beginning, to be sure. But having seen my older sister’s fairytale romance and having a season that was nowhere near that had me wishing for a season similar to hers in the end.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that-” Francesca started, having forgotten your ordeal with Lord Barlow.

You waved her apology away, smiling warmly at her. “Not to worry, I’m quite well-adjusted now. Perhaps next season will be better, though I’m not sure how unique it will be since I’m heading back to Spain, just as Isabelle did.”

“Are you really leaving?” asked Francesca, partially in shock that you were leaving after only one season. “But-”

“Y/N does,” came a loud voice next to you.

Confused, you turned around to face Colin, who seemed to have gone quite red in the face.

“I hadn’t realized I was speaking that loud,” he said bashfully, nervous now that most everyone at the table was looking at him expectantly. “Anthony was only talking about how I use the night sky to navigate my crew when I travel, and I was pointing out that you are quite knowledgeable in that area as well,” he explained, looking at you with wide, uncertain eyes.

Anthony, who had been at the other side of the table, was struggling to contain his laughter.

“I had no idea Y/N knew so much about the stars,” commented Violet, looking directly at Colin as she did so, an unreadable expression on her face.

Highly uncomfortable at being the center of attention for this particular reason, the third Bridgerton internally cringed and gulped his wine, hoping to wash down some of the discomfort as he did so.

“We’ve only talked about it a few times, but she does seem to be quite the expert,” he said finally.

Feeling charitable, Louis chimed in to change the subject, “I know I’ve been victim to her hour-long lectures about which constellations are visible at any given point in time. Were you thinking of traveling soon, Anthony?”

Letting out a sigh of relief now that the attention was no longer fixed on his thinly veiled infatuation with you, Colin cast a fleeting smile in your direction, eager to gauge your reaction.

But you only smiled amusedly at him, snickering as he gripped his fork and knife tightly in his hands with leftover tension.

“Tell Louis I say thank you,” he muttered.

You shook your head. “It’ll get to his head,” you argued.

And Colin’s smile in return was so charming, so roguish, and so handsome that you were tempted to forget your agreement to be friends right then and there.

Ah, that was why you had been avoiding him, you reminded yourself. Colin was far too charismatic for his own good. For your own good, rather.

But you had to remind yourself of what your parents –and society– expected you to find. A man with a title and a fortune. And that was decidedly not a Mr. Colin Bridgerton.

Clearing your throat, you turned away from Colin to face Francesca again.

Friends, you reminded yourself. You were friends with Colin.

---

The Montclair brothers sat in their father’s study, brandy in hand as they so often did after evening dinners ran long and they needed to wind down. Supper with the Bridgertons had been lovely, but the boys had important matters to discuss with their father. Well, important matters to you. But important nonetheless.

“Que pensez-vous de Colin?” asked Jacques, trying to seem nonchalant (What do you think of Colin?).

“Bah, il est assez gentil, mais il est vraiment amoureux,” came your father’s gruff response before he took a long sip of brandy, rubbing his temples (Well, he’s nice enough, but he’s definitely in love).

“Quoi? Amoureux de qui?” pressed Philippe, feigning innocence as if this wasn’t exactly what the brothers wanted Lord Montclair to notice (What? In love with who?).

“De Y/N, bien sûr,” replied your father, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (With Y/N, of course).

That was the tipping point for Louis, who apparently was the only person in the world who wasn't instantly attuned to Colin’s feelings. Forgetting why he and his brothers were so eager to meet with their father and talk about Colin, the youngest Montclair brother set his glass of brandy down in exasperation.

“Putain, comment tout le monde a pu voir ça?” (Damnit, how did everyone else see that?)

---

Laughing quietly at a comment Colin had whispered in your ear, you found yourself truly enjoying a ball for the first time in a very long time. Now that you were past all the hatred and subsequent awkwardness, it was lovely to spend an evening with Colin by your side.

This might have been the first ball you had been to that you hadn’t spent a considerable amount of time sulking at. It was, to say the very least, quite freeing.

Not to mention the absolute entertainment that was watching the third Bridgerton rush from ambitious mama to eligible lady and back to another mama as he attempted to please everyone. You had only been here an hour and he’d already danced three times and spoken with at least four women you knew for a fact he had no interest in.

“Ah, Mr. Bridgerton, it’s lovely to see you again,” came a voice behind you.

Both of you turned around to face Miss Anne McCall, who was looking at Colin expectantly. Amused, you raised your eyebrows at him, too. You could bet your family’s entire fortune that Colin had promised her a dance at some point tonight.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, briefly touching your arm. “Excuse me just a moment, Y/N.”

You nodded, unable to respond because you were momentarily overtaken by the feel of his hand on you. An unfamiliar warmth radiated to you, and you almost stumbled as you tried to regain your bearings.

Looking out across the ballroom, you spotted Colin smiling and laughing as he danced with Miss McCall, who was looking absolutely enamored as he spun her around. You smiled to yourself, glad that your rivalry with him had been resolved and you could simply appreciate the fact that he was a lovely person. Maybe some night you would be the one he was spinning around the ballroom.

Shaking your head to will the mental image away, you made your way to the other side of the ballroom, needing to clear your head.

However, a hand gripped yours and you turned around, surprised. Colin’s relieved eyes met yours and he pulled you closer to him, though still allowing an appropriate distance between you two in case anyone was observing.

“A turn about the ballroom?” he suggested, eyes pleading.

Once again taken aback by how aware you were of his skin on yours, you could only nod, allowing him to place your hand in the crook of his elbow.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “I think I’ve spoken to too many people tonight. If I have to laugh politely at another conversation I’m certain I will dissolve right where I'm standing.”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, squeezing his arm. “You don’t have to do it, you know?”

“Do what?”

“That,” you said, gesturing toward the dancefloor full of couples waltzing. “You’re allowed to say no.”

Colin frowned, thoughtful. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint them.”

“Why not?” you pressed.

“I- I don’t know, I suppose. It feels like it’s what I should be doing. Doesn’t everyone?”

“Hmm, not particularly. I’ve said no to plenty of men wanting to dance with me, you included,” you nudged him playfully.

“That doesn’t really count, though. Because you’re… you. It doesn’t matter if you say no to every single man asking you to dance.”

“Doesn’t it? You’re also you. So, it doesn’t matter either.”

“No, I mean that…I don’t know what I mean. I suppose that people would still like you even if you said no a lot.”

Your eyebrows shot up as you took in what Colin was saying.

“People would still like you if you said no every once in a while, you know? I know I would.”

Colin shook his head. “It’s still different!” Then, softening his voice, he added, “Because you have… Or rather, because I just don’t have any remarkable qualities beyond people finding me charming or affable.”

“Colin,” you scolded, rolling your eyes. Then, seeing that he was quite serious, your expression sobered. “Of course you have value beyond how much people like you. My word, Colin. You are so clever and so well-traveled. You can orient yourself on a map at first glance, and I doubt you would ever get lost at sea. You know most constellations visible from London, and I don’t even know how many beyond that.”

“Alright, I see your point,” he laughed, secretly wishing you would continue speaking forever. Colin was practically preening at your praise, and he so desperately wished you could want him the way he wanted you. “What do you suggest I do at balls, then, if I'm not dancing with every single member of the ton?”

 “Well, you could start by only dancing with people you want to dance with.”

“In that case, would you like to dance with me?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “No, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” insisted Colin. Then, after a pause, he added, “Friends can dance together," a twinge of regret in his chest as he said the words.

But that seemed to placate you, and you placed your hand in his. “I suppose they do.”

With a shaky breath, you prepared for the next few minutes you would spend in Colin’s arms, not quite sure you or your heart were ready to look into his mesmerizing eyes and not fall completely head over heels for him.

But one smile from him, and you were completely at ease. One dance couldn’t hurt, right?

—

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[uplatterme]

“Say my name.”

—happy birthday to xiao! this is my first time writing for him? i hope it is okay :D

—sub!xiao/softdom!reader, gn!reader | nipple play, handjob, rimming (all xiao!receiving)

Xiao doesn’t really care for what mortals think of him. 

That’s what he tells himself, at least. He doesn’t care whether humans are put off by him as long as he does his job well as a protector of Liyue. 

He doesn’t care if his ways of punishing monsters are to be considered savage or brutal by others.

Most of all, he doesn’t care if you’ve never cared to call him by his name.

The yaksha snaps his chopsticks just thinking about it.

He sighs, wondering if he has said something that you may have misinterpreted. Sure, he knows that his words aren’t the nicest unlike the other adepti but there’s not a specific situation that comes to mind.

Perhaps he’s overthinking it…

“Thank you so much again, Sir Adepti!” Your voice is nothing but praise. There’s no hint of aggressiveness at all.

Yet the thought of his name actually being said out loud by that voice seems so unreachable.

So this time it’s “Sir Adepti”, huh?

He supposes that’s better than the time you called him “Mr. Conqueror of Demons”.

“It’s no problem.” He replies, seeing the last hilichurl fade away.

Xiao finds it impressive that you manage to spot him whenever you’re in trouble despite not really stating his name yourself. He thinks about the possibility that you’re actually capable of defending yourself if needed, even if there’s no basis for such thought.

“As swift as ever,”

He tenses up at the compliment. It’s just a simple observation but he clenches his fist at the way you say it. Pure genuinity. 

You’re not saying it just because you want to be on his good side (even if you already are), you mean it and that idea brings unwanted emotions that certainly keep him distracted even if he doesn’t want to be.

“I apologize, what was it that you were saying?” He asks, seeing the way your lips move but not truly hearing it.

You chuckle, covering your mouth and uttering apologies that sound sweeter than dreams.

“A mora for your thoughts?”

“I have no need for mora, I helped you out because I wished to do so.” He completely diminishes the joke, instantly flying over his head. You didn’t speak much of it however, preferring to focus on what he said instead.

“Is that so? That’s interesting, I thought you did it because it’s your obligation.” You tease.

The reply catches him off-guard.

“You…are twisting my words.” He says, a much quieter tone than his stern ones earlier when he was warning you about the dangers of being out this late.

“Am I, Dearest Yaksha?”

There proceeds another title.

“I—You are aware that I’m the only active Yaksha? That title is not something I should be benefiting from.” He clears up. How longer were you going to play this game of yours? Is saying his name really that much trouble for you?

Your laugh surrounds the air once again, “It’s a wonder how you aren’t surrounded by fans all day with the way you are.”

He shrinks at the imagined situation. He would never, never allow himself to be near a large number of people just for reputation’s sake.

“I do what I do not for the people’s idea of me.” Xiao states.

“I know.”

He watches you look fondly at him before speaking up. “You need to loosen up a bit more, especially today. Don’t you think so?”

But before he can even ask for you to expand on what you meant, you had already walked far enough, and all he could do was stare at your back, his hands reaching out for something that’s already gone.

The feeling isn’t something new to him.

He returns to Wangshu Inn troubled, ready to sit down and ponder alone when Verr Goldet greets him with a smile.

“How did your patrol go?” She stands by the counter, getting something from under the desk while she awaits his answer.

“Nothing unusual.” 

“I’m pretty sure that Liyue would have been alright without your attendance for today.” She adds, giving him a small envelope that seemed to contain some letters.

“Some letters from everyone. Do read it when you have the time.”

He reads through the names on the letters. A few are from the residents of the inn themselves, some from the other adepti (which is surprising considering their reserved attitude), some from the townspeople of Liyue…

But what garners his attention is the last letter in the envelope stuck with a qingxin, a name that’s all too familiar to Xiao.

He places the other letters on the desk beside his bed, wanting to read what it is that you’ve said to him.

He reads through the content easily, and the way it’s worded easily strikes through his heart. In his private room, he flushes a deep red while reciting the words under his breath as if saying it will free him from the pounding in his chest.

Xiao reads out the last sentence, 

“Call out my name, Xiao.”

There’s no hesitation when he finally does.

He notices the presence on his balcony and he decides to see who the intruder is at this hour, only to find out that it’s you.

How long had you been out there?

“Happy Birthday. I hope you appreciate those letters because I cooked multiple batches of Adepti’s Temptation just to get an actual written letter—”

Xiao cuts you off as he jumps into your arms, hugging you tightly as if you’re going to perish any second now.

He doesn’t say anything, just continuing to hold onto your warmth and not knowing what to do next.

“My, which letter got to you? Was it the—”

“No.” Xiao boldy says.

“No?”

“Say my name, please.”

You pull him away from you and stare into his eyes, wiping away the few drops of tears that have somehow escaped his tough shell.

The feeling of relief, warmth, and caring that he experiences when your voice finally says what he’s been wanting to for so long breaks Xiao. You didn’t need to confess your feelings in any other way, that was enough for him to know that you reciprocate his own.

He hugs you once more, burying his head onto your body.

“Thank you.”

Xiao had never thought he’d be caught actually using his bed for resting. Well, if what’s happening right now actually counts as “resting”.

He writhes at the feeling of your tongue through the thin cloth of his top, him being pinned down by your left hand gripping his wrists.

He has never thought that his chest would be so sensitive, but the way your lips pinch his nipples has his legs moving more than they should, no matter if he wants his body to stay still.

Keeping himself composed when it comes to pain is easy. Unfortunately, the opposite could be said with pleasure, since he is now instinctively grinding himself on your leg while you play with his erect nipples.

“Hnn—Aah. Please…”

He wants more. He bites his lip at the thought of being greedy, a needy whine escaping his throat despite that.

“Speak up, Xiao.”

The embarrassing noise that slips out of him when you call his name sends him flushing. Perhaps it’s because you’ve deprived him of such pleasure for so long that it causes cute spurts of precum out of his dick.

Your finger traces on the green markings on his lower region, slightly glowing with the way the light in the room is slightly dimmed.

“W-Want more…” The plead easily comes out of his mouth due to him being in such a dreamy state, it only registers to Xiao what he says when he feels you separating his legs away from each other.

It’s such a sight to see the adepti’s hole clenching and unclenching, his cum that leaked down from earlier beautifully surrounding it.

Xiao’s figure is quite small but that doesn’t take away from how his ass is nicely shaped, with a few scars on the side of his thighs from the battles that he’s suffered through.

Your gentle caressing of his cheeks makes his dick twitch slightly.

“N-No, you don’t have to…!”

It’s a strange sensation to have himself licked with such enjoyment, he feels a bit guilty enjoying this so much already but when he observes you devouring him with such hunger, the resistance falls flat on his tongue, easily replaced with soft whimpering.

“Xiao.”

You call for him once again but before he could even reply with something coherent, your tongue slips inside of him.

He struggles to lay flat on his back, his lower body inching towards your face.

The texture of your tongue against his rim has him breathing deeply and quickly, your hands spreading his ass apart so you could easily eat him out.

The soft kisses that you plant in between, the way your fingers dig into his soft skin…it’s ungodly.

And if that wasn’t already hypnotizing enough, your other hand slowly makes its way from his thigh to the base of his cock, just circling it with your fingers and squeezing softly.

Xiao grinds even more on your tongue but immediately apologizes when he notices how closer that brought him. He tries to move away but is immediately pulled back down, shivering from how your tongue enters him once again, stretching him out.

He bites his teeth together at that, his head hitting the soft pillow when your hand that’s only been gripping him has now started to stroke his length, never reaching his tip and only keeping your hand on his shaft.

“Wait…I—”

Xiao doesn’t know where to focus, his eyes meeting the ceiling of his room. He’d be lucky if the residents of the inn were to not hear of the noises he’s making right now, though he finds that to be impossible.

He moans your name, begging you to let him take a break at least but also wanting more at the same time. He’s too confused on whether he should be enjoying it this much.

When you told him to loosen up, he didn’t realize you’d take it literally.

He feels his muscles tightening, his knee gently hitting the side of your body. He won’t—can’t last long.

Xiao fumbles with his words, he should warn you, shouldn’t he? If he orgasms like this, surely his cum would be a mess for you to clean up, right?

He tries, he really does. However, what comes out of his mouth are completely incomprehensible, just soft but loud moans. “Ah, uh! Hah—Can’t!”

He doesn’t miss the way your hand seems to be stroking him even roughly, using the leaking cum out of him as lubrication. The way his cum falls on your tongue, acting like that’s no bother for you as you continue to eat him out.

Soon enough, it takes everything in him to hold onto nothing, clenching his fists empty as he knows that he’ll end up ripping the sheets if he does that instead.

His cum splatters everywhere but mostly around his stomach and your face, the scream that erupts from him is humiliating and he only hopes that no one can tell that it’s him who’s the owner.

Xiao’s entire body, especially his legs, quiver.

He lays there weak on the bed, letting you go on top of him as you press your lips against his, the taste of his own cum turning him on.

He’s still breathing heavily, panting and moaning into your mouth. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you down and deeper into the kiss.

Once you two separate, a trail of saliva follows and gets left on the side of Xiao's mouth. 

The grin that appears on your face right after flusters Xiao and he looks away, only to have his face be grabbed by your fingers, turning his head towards yours for a quick peck.

“Happy Birthday, Xiao.”

[jeansplaytoy]

‘ 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘 .

you took interest in someone you never thought you would.

arminxreader, black!reader, 90s highschool based, language throughout, sexual references throughout (maybe not in this chapter), hood themed, mental /some physical abuse, armin referred to as ‘white boy armin’, all characters are 18+ except for the ones that obviously aren’t and in the beginning, NO PROOFREAD YALL.

“aye, white boy.”

“white boy armin!”

“you’re a disappointment, armin.”

“mommy loves you, armin. okay?”

he lived up to those same words and phrases everyday, nothing new. it’s just the way he lived. growing up from hearing his mom and dad argue every single damn day, shits annoying. especially when the attention moved on to him.

and he was only 12.

“you don’t know what he goes through at school, or even here, because you’re not around enough!” that was his mom.

“i don’t give a shit what happens at school or here. i don’t want him to grow up like the rest of the kids on these streets. look at where we fuckin live, woman! you actually think he’s gonna have fun here?” that was his dad. he hates his dad. he was always yelling, and drinking, and yelling again.

but armin was quiet. he didn’t really get to have a say in things, but even when he did, he didn’t say anything.

“yo, armin! can you come out today?” eren asked, across the street of armin’s house. he stood up and glanced back at his house, shrugging.

and then there were the streets. the damn hood streets where a lot of shit happens, a lot of shit was seen. but he had to be some kind of ‘privileged white boy’? no. did he wanna be? no. but he didn’t like where he lived. he only grew to like it, especially when you came into the picture.

now you were one of the girls that everyone wanted to talk to at school, the one with the good style and the good personality that every boy always wanted to kiss or date.

“this armin. he cool, real chill. he quiet but you know, you gon’ start liking him when y’all get closer.” ony said. you all walked the sidewalks together, them walking you home to make sure you were safe on the way. ‘them’ being eren, ony, and armin. eren knew armin the longest, and he would be considered to be ‘white boy eren’, but he wasn’t even from around there. he went to a different school, and fought almost everywhere he went, which is why he wasn’t from around there anymore.

“you new here or sum? or you just quiet.” you looked up at him, holding your backpack on your shoulder.

“quiet.” he muttered, looking away.

he wasn’t gonna lie when he said he didn’t really like you at first. but as years went by, it was more of you he could stand.

“boy i don’t want you. i already said that.” you looked at a boy as you closed your locker.

“bi-“

“say it. i want you to.” armin said, leaning against a locker behind the guy, making him turn around. “who the fuck you posed to be? oh. that white boy.” he scoffed.

armin raised his eyebrows.

yeah, that was his third fight that month.

and the third time his dad yelled at him in that week.

“why the hell am i gettin’ calls from the school saying you’re suspended again? see, this is why you need to stay in the damn house and be homeschooled—!”

as he kept rambling, armin closed the fridge and sighed, walking upstairs.

“don’t walk away from me when i’m fucking talking to you, arlert!” his dad slammed his beer glass down and followed armin.

“so i can’t walk and listen at the same time? ight.” armin mumbled.

“the fuck did you just say?” his dad squinted, making his way to his room.

armin turned around. “i said-“ “honey, just leave him alone. he hasn’t did anything bad, maybe he was just defending his self!” his mom rushed in the picture, but was shoved out of the way. his dad grabbed his shirt and pinned him against the wall.

“listen you little shit. you talk back to me again and i’ll break your fuckin’ face. i don’t know where you get your attitude from, but you need to shut the hell up like you did when you were younger.” his dad snapped through gritted teeth. armin’s breathing got heavy and he bit his bottom lip with a force, nearly making his own lip bleed.

“just get off of him!” his mom yelled.

his dad stared into his eyes, fuming with anger. he shoved him against the wall one last time before turning and stoping downstairs. armin stood there for a few seconds before going in his room, slamming the door behind him.

he threw his self down on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes with a slight frown. that’s when he got a text.

ony

yo u tryna hoop?

he tossed his phone down beside him and sniffed, getting up and looking through his drawers for basketball shorts and a t-shirt.

he changed his clothes and shoes, fixing his hair in the mirror before grabbing his second backpack and his phone, walking out of his room.

he went downstairs and to his kitchen, where his mom washed the dishes. “where you headed, sweetie?” she asked. “bouda hoop, Ma. ill be back tonight.” he grabbed a bottle of water and walked towards the front door. “don’t come too late.” his mom said before blowing him a kiss.

armin nodded and shut the door behind him, starting to walk out of the driveway and down the sidewalk. the walk was like 5 minutes. 5 minutes that he didn’t care about because nothing else in his life was that important.

but when he made it, it was slightly better.

“i know that ain’t white boy armin, man i heard you got suspended today.” one of his friends dapped him up. “yeah, ian worried bout that. i just wanna hoop right now.” he walked towards the basketball goal with ony, jean, and connie.

“wassup, Arm’. you ain’t been here in a minute.” connie chuckled, patting his back. “ight, let’s go.”

and there you were, sitting on the bench by yourself, simply because ony dragged you there. sasha and mikasa had extra work to do that day, so you were the only girl there. you didn’t have a problem with it tho, because you knew everyone there.

“want me to watch and he can’t even make the shot.” you whispered to yourself with a small chuckle, pulling out your phone to find something better to entertain yourself with.

after about an hour, yeah, an hour of being there for no reason, you saw someone coming over to you. you looked up to see armin. he sat at the bench, a few inches away from you, wiping his sweat and checking his phone.

“you good?” you frowned a little. “yeah.” he mumbled. you hummed, guessing he didn’t really wanna have a conversation with you at the moment.

“ain’t you ony girl?” he tilted his head. “i thought you was in our lil group. no, we not together.” you shook your head, watching the rest of the boys continue to play basketball.

“um, thank you for defending me or whatever at school. i hate when boys do the shit they do.” you said. “don’t even mention it.” he mumbled. you looked at him for a minute before something caught your eye. “you got a scratch.” you pointed to his finger.

“hm.” he looked at you.

you smacked your lips and pointed, grabbing his hand. “a scratch.” you said before looking closer. “oh, that’s glass. you ain’t feel that?” you asked, sitting his hand on your lap and trying to get the glass out by yourself.

he didn’t really mind it, so he let you, despite the small amounts of pain that shot through his finger every time you touched it.

“nah. not until you pointed it out.” he mumbled, leaning back.

you threw the small shard of glass under the bench and reached in your small purse, grabbing a bandaid.

“you actually keep bandaids in yo purse?” he asked. you shrugged with a small smile. “i know y’all boys be easy to scratch up.” you said, rubbing the bandaid on his finger before letting go of his hand.

armin looked at you for a few seconds before humming. “that’s prolly just me.”

you laughed and shook your head. “well. you ain’t sweating no more. you could go back out there.” you pointed, right before jean called him back on the court.

armin smacked his lips a little and nodded slowly, standing up and walking over to the rest of the boys.

you decided to watch them start playing again, glancing at a different person every time someone stole or passed the ball. it was a few minutes back in, some people took their shirts off. but only one caught your eye.

‘he that fit?’ you thought to yourself, seeing armin’s abs and arms. his arms had a little muscle, and of course he wasn’t buff buff. but it did look like he worked out a little. or more than that.

you continued to watch them play, your eyes never leaving him.

even when he glanced back at you, standing to the side of one of their dumb free throws.

his lip quirked a half smile a little before he got back to playing. and again, minutes passed, a lot of minutes, to hours. that’s when everyone finally decided to go home.

“come on, y/n.” ony yawned, grabbing his things. the streetlights were on now, and everyone was getting tired. you were about to stand up until you heard the basketball bouncing again.

“i’m… just gon stay here wit’ armin til he wanna leave. i’ll text you when i get home.” you mumbled.

“ight. be safe.” ony flicked your forehead before walking out of the gate with connie.

you hummed and looked back over to armin who just dribbled and shot the ball for a few more minutes. that was until he sighed, making one last shot and letting the ball fall, turning around.

you saw him pause, probably being jumpscared by how you were just sitting there, before holding his chest and letting out a deep sigh. “what the fuck?” he walked over to you. “why you still here?” he asked, grabbing his things.

“ian want you to be alone. duh.” you got up as he grabbed his things. you grabbed your purse and phone, waiting on armin to finish packing his stuff.

“you coulda just went home.”

“i know that.”

“don’t you got some typa curfew?” armin asked, starting to walk. you walked beside him. “no, and you do?” you looked up at him. “nah. i just think it’s weird how you would randomly wait for me. no problem wit it tho. ‘preciate it.” he said.

“cus ion want you to be here alone.” you said as you both left the gate and started to walk down the street.

“well how you gettin home? i know you live on the other side of the block.” he mumbled. “the good side.”

you smacked your lips with a smile. “ion live on the good side. shit still happens there. the neighborhood still boring as fuck. i just… don’t pay attention to it.” you shrugged.

you continued to walk and talk until you both made it to armin’s house.

armin suddenly stopped. “we gon have to go around.”

“why?”

“ion want you walkin home alone.”

“why would i be walking home alone if my house is right behind the fence of yours?” you started walking to the side, and backyard of his house.

“hol’ up, huh?”

“hold on, lift me.” you grabbed the top of the fence. “uh.. okay.” armin muttered, letting you step on his hands.

when you were halfway across, you sat there for a second.

“thanks for walking me home.” you smiled a little, hopping down and walking towards your own house, leaving armin confused.

“well damn.” he pursed his lips together, picking his things back up and walking towards his house.

after that… well, you don’t even remember. all you know is, that was the one time you two got close.

the one time, just for now.

part two here!

[chiibinomonodamon]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD

(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)

Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol

I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.

What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.

Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.

FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.

I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).

Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.

I saw people asking:

"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"

Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.

See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.

But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.

'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)

It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.

We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.

He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.

Why?

Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.

They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.

This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.

But you know this already so let's move on...

Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.

When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.

NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:

"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"

Time Stamp: 11:37

As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask

"Well, ARE we in one?"

And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.

Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.

Time Stamp: 12:24

The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says

"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".

(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)

This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.

Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.

Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)

He even looks disappointed with himself.

After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".

He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!

I'm really just..." (14:28)

he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)

"...not in the mood, Stolas."

Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.

Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"

(14:42)

"You make that really clear all the time."

(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)

"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"

(Finally meets his eye)

"...I'm sorry."

I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".

Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.

An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.

As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.

He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that

"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.

And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.

I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.

The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.

To recap:

*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him

*Stolas is extremely happy about it

*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation

*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart

*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex

*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.

*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.

So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.

Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.

Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.

So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;

I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.

It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.

In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao

In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(

Reasons I Think This Love is Real

Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.

After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.

Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.

'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.

In S2 E6 OOPS

This exchange at 16:57

Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?

Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!

It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...

(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)

"it's nothing else."

Fizz: Then why were you even there?

Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.

Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.

Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!

(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)

Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.

It's a novelty to him.

Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!

Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!

And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...

Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!

Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??

Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)

Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...

Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!

No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)

To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.

There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:

[erinsunmentionables]

Veilguard & Victim Blaming

I am an abuse survivor. Part of the reason I empathize so heavily with Solas is because of this. I’m not the first person to point out that his behavior in DAI has all the hallmarks of an abuse victim, and everything we know about Flemeth/Mythal from the first three games and all supplementary content has characterized them both as abusers. Because victims becoming abusers is indeed a real and tragic phenomenon.

I was so hoping they’d handle the subject with the nuance and maturity we’ve come to expect from BioWare. Instead, we spent all of Veilguard combing through the most painful and traumatic memories of someone who was coerced and abused by a person he trusted, all the while the characters we’re meant to view as good and empathetic people mock him and glorify his abuser, who among other things willingly owned slaves.

Because there is no grey area, Mythal abused Solas just as Flemeth abused Morrigan and her son, and Justinia abused Leliana. And it’s clear this was the intention. It was always the intention. The foundations of it were too strong to remove entirely from the game, but I guess someone higher up wasn’t comfortable acknowledging that women can in fact be abusers, and men can in fact be victims.

So instead we get a group of relative strangers rubbernecking the tragedy of an abused man and going out of their way to heap the blame on the victim. At one point Lucanis literally says that he ‘should have just said no’ which is the kind of talk you hear about victims of assault and abuse all the time from the worst kind of people. I should know, because I’ve had the exact same experience.

It’s not just a disappointment. Disappointment doesn’t begin to touch it. I feel sick and I feel betrayed. I came to Dragon Age with DAI. It remains my favorite (or was, now the whole thing just makes me depressed) because, despite how dark things got, compassion and empathy were always there. The abused always had a voice, however singular, to stand up for them and defend them. Not so here.

There’s a sense of callousness and mean spiritedness that permeates Veilguard. Not sure if that was the intention, but that’s what we got. I couldn’t even finish the game—‘just say no’ was the last straw for me—but against my better judgement I looked into the endings, and really that was my mistake. Because the ‘good ending’ essentially boils down to the abuser oh so magnanimously releasing her victim while a group of strangers gaslight him into submission. I don’t really understand how we got here, but I hope the Devs understand just how damaging a message they ended up with. I know what it’s like to be judged with malignant bias by people determined to hate you while your abuser is lauded and praised. Because abusers are often charismatic and excellent at keeping up a saintly appearance to hide their monstrosity and further alienate their victim. That’s what this feels like.

They can try and retcon it all they like, maybe new players won’t notice, but anyone who remembers the last three games knows better. Flemeth and Mythal may have been victims once, but both went on to use and abuse the people closest to them. Sugarcoating them in the interest of ignoring/making their victims look worse is genuinely vile.

I don’t know who let this change happen, but they’ve contributed to an already skewed public perception about what abuse looks like and how abusers get away with their crimes.

[shhrrroooommmmmyyyyyy]

HB Generational Trauma: Paimon → Stolas

→ Octavia

*Before I get attacked, nothing I say is to defend the actions described. I am simply trying to explain and make sense of it.*

Many fans approach the topic of Stolas being a good or bad father with either black and white-good or bad or completely gray answers. The black and white are pretty straightforward, usually going something like "he says this but does this anyway" or "he's neglectful", which are all valid opinions here. As well as the gray opinions, usually saying "he really tries, he just doesn't get it right".

Honesty, I can't say I disagree with any of these opinions honestly. I don't have evidence to back this up, but I have a feeling I know where the writers are going with this. I think they will, maybe sometime soon after hearing via's line in the trailer, have Stolas sort of "wake up" in a sense and realize what exactly he does. Get hit by the good ol' self awareness train, if you will. It's called character development.

I've seen many people call this bad writing but I disagree. I think that's the direction they're going for Stolas's character development. I think with the episodes so spread out, people forget we're only three episodes away from only being halfway through the series as a whole. There's still plenty of room for development.

Anyways, back on topic. Let's look at Paimon and Stolas from the Circus episode. I love the Loo Loo Land parallel with it.

Paimon enjoying himself from home while Stolas is miserable and clearly doesn't want to be there. The only thing that gets him through it without crashing out is Blitzø. Paimon seems to not notice he's even there at all until he starts enjoying himself watching Blitzø. And when he figures out what's making him so happy, he literally buys Blitzø later to keep himself from having to deal with him all day. Of course Stolas is too oblivious and distracted by Blitzø to realize, but that makes complete sense seeing how oblivious he is as an adult.

So now let's look at Stolas and Octavia in the Loo Loo Land episode.

Stolas is enjoying himself, but actually present. Him actually being there is an improvement; however, Octavia's not enjoying herself. She already didn't want to go because she was too old to enjoy it. And on top of that, Stolas flirting with Blitzø the whole time made her uncomfortable (which he was also too oblivious to realize).

I think the parallels here are interesting. Overall I think the writers ave done an excellent job of writing generational trauma, hence the title of this post. Now let's look at Stolas' line from Western Energy:

This line made a slight change in their dynamic from my perspective. It's clear he loves her and would do anything to protect her. Much different from Paimon. I think he tries so hard to be better than Paimon that he subconsciously ends up doing what Paimon does. This is called the ironic process theory or ironic rebound (psychology nerd here, as you can tell). However, the difference between him and Paimon is that he apologizes and recognizes that he made a mistake. He's trying. And even so, what examples of a good dad would he have had growing up that would've guided him in the right direction?

Although he keeps making mistakes, he is still trying. He's not prefect. I think Via knows this; nevertheless, it's hard for her not to get frustrated at him for making them sometimes. Especially when he promised he would do something with her and didn't in Seeing Stars.

No matter the extremity of the efforts made toward doing so, generational trauma will never be completely healed in one generation (look at me using smart words). While Stolas has made a pretty big dent in the healing process, it takes more than one person to erase the trauma. Although Via is as far as the line will go with her being confirmed asexual, I think Stolas has done a lot more for Via than people realize.

I have a few notes about Blitz and Loona on this topic as well. I might wait till after Ghostfuckers in case it gives more info to put in that post

[nozunhinged]

I finally managed to put my overall thoughts about Playboyy into words and hoooooo boy do I have a lot to say.

I watched the mdl ratings go down, the blatant hate towards the plot, the actors, the scenes, the sex. There was nothing that wasn't torn apart about this series and yet I wasn't phased for a second and I kept wondering why because usually get very passionate about defending the things I love.

And then I realized that this series is the cinematic embodiment of a very lonely path that I've been walking for decades and I am already very, very used to the shame around it.

Sex is not just my special interest, I also had the privilege to grow up with excellent sex education (thanks parents) and on top of that I never struggled with my (pan)sexual identity. Sex plays a significant role in my life. But I learned VERY quickly that I should keep this to myself if I don't want to be ostracized or bullied.

"You're autistic AND you like sex? You like porn? What the fuck is wrong with you??? That's impossible."

And all the comments I read about playboyy are exactly the same just in different fonts. Ew sex. Ew kink. Ew porn. Ew sex work. Sex can't have storytelling, plot, it's just for shock value. We all read it.

And sadly it's a very accurate representation of the role sex plays in our society. Which - ironically - playboyy exactly is about.

Playboyy is a visual collection of all the experiences of lives and people in which sex plays a significant role - even the lack thereof (looking at you zouey and all you lovely aces).

It's a collection of very important social commentary, with all the characters, sets, plots and visuals as a medium. Because this way, the points they make come across even stronger and draw out all the emotions they want us to feel - which is in the rarest cases, pure arousal. Because this is, in fact, storytelling. Even if many don't want to hear it.

Telling stories about sex is so stigmatized and shunned, it only has the tiniest place to exist freely. Just like sex itself. Every sex worker, sex educator, sex therapist, everyone who has a profession that deals with sex will tell you about it. The shame. The misunderstanding. Look at the state of sex work and porn in the world. It tells you everything you need to know.

And it's happening in the middle of the "modern" western society - Yes I'm talking about you, UK and I can't not plug this here:

*btw I am not a sex worker I'm just very passionate about letting people not just live their lives but giving them a CHOICE to do what they want or don't want to do

I existed in this tiny place for decades now and I got really comfortable in my tiny lil corner, but to see a show like this go "mainstream" talking about all the topics that tickle all the knowledge I collected over the years feels so amazing. And I can tell you, all you lil smartass purists, everyone involved in this show doesn't care an inch what you think, just like me. We're used to it, believe me.

I could go on for ages about how carefully all these topics of the show are treated but what I actually want to say is that I find it incredibly ironic that a show that depicts the struggles and stigmas about sex, exactly draws out the reactions and treatments it criticises.

If you don't want to join in on the fun, that's totally fine. I get that it's not for everyone (just like sex, he). But treating it as a piece of trash just because it's a thing you personally find icky is exactly the reason the issues Playboyy talks about exist in the first place. Hence you can thank your stuck-up ass yourself that debauched individuals like me get a gem like this to enjoy.

And the fact that it didn't just find a crew, but also the funding and the mainstream distribution proves that I'm not alone in this.

It's not my lonely little corner anymore and I'm absolutely thriving on that. Cry about it.

[tatiam-x]

Learn to please

Mikasa Ackerman x Female Reader

TW: lesbian sex, vaginal fingering, loss of virginity, teasing, oral sex, sex

I'm rewatching Shingeki no Kyojin and am obsessing with Mikasa so I'm writing religiously about her.

This fic turned out to be a lot softer than I thought considering my usual rough style of writing, but I thought this would be how it would play out in their universe.

“So you don’t know how to have sex?” you question in disbelief, but suppress the shock in your tone and reduce the impact of your words. Sure, you can understand that Mikasa hasn’t learned how to do such sinful actions while fighting the chaos of the world. So you decide that, with your own capabilities, this would be a way to make the world a little less cruel for her.

Her cheeks turn pink at your accusation, and she looks at the ground in shame. “...no.”

She says this quietly with hesitation, her hand scratching her arm in a nervous habit. You smile softly at her, padding towards her to fondly touch her shoulder. “It’s okay, Mikasa. It’s completely normal,” you reassure her, and she brings those wide, dark eyes to yours which makes your heart skip a beat.

“Do you want me to teach you?”

The question comes out of your mouth without a thought, and once you say it, you immediately cringe in regret; this could turn out bad. 

For a moment, she searches your eyes with wonder. Such innocent curiosity that glimmers in the night of her eyes, and for a second you feel tension between the two of you; you can tell it’s not a hostile or awkward tension.

“If… that’s okay with you,” she says softly, her eyes widening and you notice them become a shade or two darker. Brushing your observation off, you nod in agreement. 

You back away from her, looking behind you to make sure you’re at the foot of the bed. Seating yourself at the edge, you start to strip yourself. You figure it would make this whole teaching thing visually valuable. 

“W - what are you doing?” she exclaims, immediately turning around when you start to take off your bra. You chuckle in amusement, covering your mouth as she refuses to look at you. “Mikasa, it’s okay. I’m here to teach you, remember? This will make it easier.”

She stays silent for a moment, reluctantly turning around at your reassurance. As soon as she does, she looks down to your chest, and you try not to let yourself get flustered with how shameless it is. You feel yourself get unintentionally wet, and you have to remind yourself that she isn’t interested in you. 

Squeezing your thighs together, you slip off your panties, locking your eyes with her as she watches you slide them off your legs. You hear her exhale, and she meets your eyes with a visible blush.

Your attempts at trying to brush off her small signs of attraction are getting harder to defend, but you figure that she’s just curious, right?

“The most important purpose of this, in my opinion, is to get as much pleasure for yourself. No matter who it’s with.” You speak, ghosting your hands on your thighs in anticipation. You can already feel the ache between your thighs, pleading to be fucked. With this sentence, you want to remind her that she deserves as much enjoyment that she needs. She’s special, so she should have anything she desires.

She simply blinks at you, silently urging you to continue. “So, do you know the feeling between your thighs,” you pause, taking in a deep breath to not let yourself get aroused by her. “When you look or think about someone? It’s like a jolt of electricity and it starts to beat like your heart.”

Mikasa’s face turns a deep red, and you quirk an eyebrow in curiosity. “How… how did you know that?” Her blush is something to die for.

You take a moment, not wanting to reveal that she’s the one who gives you that feeling. “Because everyone has that feeling when they like someone.”

She stares at you as if she’s had some deep awakening. It’s silent for a moment, and you decide to break it by continuing. Spreading your thighs to let her observe you, you cringe at the sound of your labia peeling due to the wetness that gathered in your cunt. You feel relieved that she doesn’t recognize what that means. 

“You can relieve that feeling, if it feels sexual. Like you’re excited,” you explain, teasing your folds and exhaling deeply with your fingers this close to your aching cunt. You then realize that she might be too far away to even see what you’re doing. She seems frozen in place, her eyes focusing intensely on where your hands are. Her chest heaves noticeably, and you wonder if she’s scared.

“Come closer. It’s alright, I don’t mind you watching,” you smile at her, and she hesitates for a movement before walking towards you. You look up at her, and you blush at how she looms over you. Fuck, if only she knew how much you want her. 

She’s about a foot away from you, and she sits on her ankles so she’s at level with your pussy. You shiver, almost insecure with how full of a view she has of you in this position. You catch her staring at your exposed pussy, and when she realizes you’re looking at her, she looks away in embarrassment. 

You lean over to catch her chin in your fingers, gently guiding her to face you as you say, “I’m here to teach you, remember? This is for you, I’m okay with this.”

She briefly doesn’t meet your eyes, but then when she does, her eyes glint with something you don’t recognize. “Okay.”

Letting go of her chin, you return your hand between your thighs, focusing on where to put your fingers. “When you… touch yourself, you want to hit a spot that makes you feel good,” you state, sliding your fingers down to your slit. Your breathing gets shallow, but you try to control yourself as much as possible. Your hips roll into the bed, forcing yourself to make the movement minimal to not raise any alarm. With your hand almost on your clit, with the way she looks at your pussy so intensely, all of it makes you just want to lose yourself.

“You want to touch… h - here,” you gasp, biting your lip to suppress another sound as your fingers dive into your clit. You look down to see Mikasa looking at you with her mouth parted, her cheeks red and her hands clenching on her thighs. 

“Are you… okay?” she questions. Her breathing seems ragged, irregular as she says this.

You pump your fingers into yourself, barely able to form words as you say, “yeah… just feels good.” You let out a quiet whine, your hips fucking up into your hand as pleasure spreads throughout your body. You hear her breath hitch, and you realize you have to keep talking to her through this.

“You should move your fingers in and out of yourself,” you manage to breathe out, your fingers acting on your words. “Or you can just… rub that area.”

You refuse to look at her to avoid sending yourself over the edge; she’s the one you're thinking of as you touch yourself, after all. “And if you curl your fingers up…” you start to say, and when your fingers curl up into yourself, you let a moan slip out at the feeling as your fingers find your g-spot. “Fuck.”

You try to be subtle about it, but with how good your fingers feel in your dripping pussy, you can’t control yourself. 

“Feels good?” you hear her say, and you stop to look at her in the aroused state you're in. Her tone is almost smug, and your eyes widen as you realize she’s rubbing herself with her hand under her pants. Her cheeks are tinted pink, her teeth bite her lip, her breathing is labored, her eyes are dark, and her body involuntarily rocks into her hand. 

You moan at the sight, your fingers seemingly moving into yourself on their own. “Yeah,” you whine, feeling so fucked out by that pretty view of her. And then you stop yourself again when you realize that she’s touching herself to the sight of you.

“Mikasa…” you marvel at her, your eyes half-lidded with lust. 

“It feels good…” she whines, her eyes closing and soft moans elicit from that pretty mouth of hers. “You… you’re so good.”

You almost come undone when she says this, and you hear her gasp right after. The sound of her hand slapping her mouth breaks the shocked atmosphere between the two of you.

“S - sorry…” she murmurs, taking her hand out of her pants and looking shamefully at the ground. “I should probably go…”

You stare at her, shock preventing you from speaking. Did she just… touch herself to you?

“W - wait!” you call out to her as she stands up, and she looks at you questionably. Her eyes are brimmed with guilt, and she fidgets with her hands anxiously. “I’m sorry… it was selfish of me to bring my feelings for you into this.”

You confess hesitantly, but you don’t want her to feel guilty for something you caused. 

“You… have feelings for me?” she asks, her movements halting. 

“Yes… I’m sorry, Mikasa. You can leave now. I just wanted to ease a little of your pain.”

She falls silent. You have to choke down the lump in your throat that threatened to emerge, blinking away the blurriness in your eyes. Then she does something completely out of character, completely the opposite of your expectations: she laughs.

Your eyes widen at her, uneasy at her reaction.

“Just being with you eases my pain,” she expresses, moving towards you once more. “I have feelings for you, too. I just never said anything because… I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Mikasa…” you gape at her, in complete awe. She has feelings for you. Mikasa Ackerman has feelings for you. “You won’t lose me. No matter what.” You declare it because it’s true. You declare it because you mean it; you want to dedicate your heart to her. 

She lets out what you depict to be a scoff of joy, and her teeth bare in a beautiful enrapturing smile. In this moment, you’re certain that you’re in the presence of an angel. What did you do to deserve such a perfect human being?

She stands right in front of you, leaning down to close her lips onto yours. You sigh contently into her kiss, reaching up to cup her jaw. It’s only when her hands settle on your bare waist that reminds you that you’re completely naked.

“Mm - Mikasa,” you moan into her lips, but you pull your lips away from her to speak. She’s panting, her eyes wild with lust. That look in her eye changes to concern, however, as you pull away.

“What is it? Do you want me to stop?” she asks, her eyelids fluttering in panic.

“No, no. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay with this,” you look up at her, resisting the urge to pull her down on top of you and ruin her.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to teach me?” she smirks, tilting your chin up to her. You squirm, rubbing your thighs together in arousal.

“Yes…”

“Then teach me. Show me how to feel good,” she orders, and at her command, you pull her towards you into a heated kiss. Who knew she could be such a devil. You wrap your hands around her neck, pulling her down with you on the bed. She straddles your lap, quickly taking off her shirt. You stare at her lean torso in awe, groaning when you imagine tasting her with those abs in sight.

“Like what you see?” she teases, swiftly taking off her bra. She leaves at a complete loss for words, your eyes gluing to her chest. You’re tempted to reach up and fondle them, but you decide to wait for her to be completely naked.

A blush forms on ur face, muttering, “yeah,” in response. It’s an understatement, what she says, because you worship what you see. 

Your hips thrust up into her, the ache between your thighs reemerging; you want her to touch you, you want all of her and only her. She gasps when you do, her hands gripping your abdomen to stabilize herself. 

“Take off your pants,” you pant, wanting to feel her bare cunt against your body. You stop moving your hips to give her time to take them off. She unbuttons her pants, tantalizingly pulling them off her; though, it’s a struggle for her to take them off while she’s on her knees. You watch with eager eyes, eyeing her panties since it’s the last article of clothing left.

You can’t resist the urge to take them off for yourself, your hungry hands grabbing the waistband of her panties and curling your fingers in. You look up at her; she looks at you so desperately. You’ve never seen her like this, so vulnerable and lustful. It makes you feel so… powerful. 

You pull her panties towards you, releasing it to allow it to slap on her skin. She yelps, eyeing you with surprise. You grin, giggling at her reaction. 

She shakes her head at you, and then her eyes show a sudden playfulness. You raise an eyebrow, wondering what’s on her mind. “Try to get these off me.”

A simple request from her – no, a challenge – that reflects that playfulness in you. You smirk at her, gripping her waist as you sit her back down on your stomach. You figure she won’t let you touch anywhere near her panties, so you sit up to kiss her. She returns the kiss, making you swipe your tongue against her bottom lip.

She stiffens in your touch, the feeling of your tongue foreign to her. You don’t even need to tell her to open her mouth because her tongue eagerly meets your own, and you hear her moan softly at the contact. 

Taking advantage of her distraction, you flip her over so she’s on her back, keeping your mouth on hers. You can tell she’s slightly winded by the way her breath hitches. Her hands snake to wrap around your neck, pressing you down towards her. Your thighs are on either side of her, trapping her body between you.

You kiss down to her jaw, then to her neck, and a soft whine slips out of her when you do. 

“Feels good?” you rasp against her neck, and she yelps when you take her skin in between her teeth. You want her to remember this for a while.

“Y - yeah,” she whines, her breathing labored. 

You smile against her neck, giving gentle, passionate kisses down to her collarbone. You bite a spot above her collarbone, her hands gripping your hair tightly at the feeling.

Your kisses trail down to her breast, and you peek up at her to see her face twisted with pleasure, her eyes already watching you with such hunger.

You keep your eyes on her as your mouth latches onto her nipple, sucking her bud gently. 

“Oh,” she gasps, feeling her body jolt under you.

Your tongue swirls around her nipple, your other hand massaging her other breast.

“Feels good,” she moans, panting with the way you’re pleasing her.

You hum in response, enjoying the way she squirms under you. You give the same treatment to her other breast, doing the same thing with your tongue and soft whines come out of her.

Once you’re done, you go back up to kiss her lovingly, your heart bursting with happiness as she lets you take control of her.

Soft hands cup your jaw, a sigh falling from her lips into yours. You take her hands in yours, tenderly kissing them both before pinning them above her head with one hand.

You sit back and take your gaze over her exposed, vulnerable body, your bare cunt heating in arousal as it makes contact with her abdomen. “You’re beautiful.”

She is beautiful. So astonishingly beautiful. You’re the only one who can see her like this, completely under your control. Her face turns red, and her hands wriggle in your grip. 

You feel her hips roll up to you, and you whine at the feeling of her rubbing against your cunt. You start to rock your hips against her, exhaling in ecstasy that makes your head throw back and close your eyes at the contact. It’s cute that she’s mimicking what you do to her.

She breaks out of your hand to grab your waist, squeezing and pushing her hips harder up to you. 

“Mikasa,” you gasp, your hands bracing against her chest to stabilize yourself with the force of her movements.

“Feels good?” she grunts, smirking at you but in awe of you fucking yourself on her stomach.

“Yes,” you moan, your grip tightening on her breasts that you didn’t know you were grabbing. She moans at you, moving your hips faster into her.

You feel a familiar jolt in your cunt, the friction between your thighs taking control of you. It feels so good, she fucks you so good it leaves you a moaning mess. You’re gasping, completely driven insane by her momentum, of her moans that lead you higher and higher.

“Oh… Mikasa… k - keep going,” you whine, feeling your clit rub deliciously against her skin. You feel heat build in your core, your moans getting higher and louder as you chase your high. You arch your back as you’re completely engulfed in pleasure, her name endlessly eliciting from you.

“Mikasa, I’m… coming,” you cry out, and your high hits you so hard that your whole body jerks forward as waves of pleasure wash throughout your body, making loud, lewd moans come out. She stops once your body stills, and you feel your cream drip down to her stomach. You catch your breath, closing your eyes since you’re still dazed from your overwhelming orgasm.  

“What… what happened?” Mikasa voices, and you snap your focus back onto her, relaxing your grip on her chest and you wince with how your hands feel stiff. You look at her, but she doesn’t seem panicked or concerned; her eyes are dark with arousal, biting her lip at you with interest. You remember she probably hasn’t even had an orgasm before.

“Oh… right,” you say weakly, embarrassed with how confusing your orgasm might have looked. “That was an orgasm.”

When she raises an eyebrow at you to question again, you answer for her. “When, um… when you feel really good, good enough that you feel this pressure of heat build in you, it makes you reach your climax and you release. That’s what… coming means.”

You feel funny saying that to a grown woman.

She stares at you for a moment before bluntly saying, “make me do it.”

You blink at her, slightly surprised by her command. Eagerly, you sink down her body and tug down her panties, ignoring the uncomfortable sticky substance between your thighs. Once they’re off, you exhale at the picture of her naked body. She looks at you impatiently, and you can see arousal leaking from her pussy.

You snicker, feeling smug as you say, “you’re already wet.”

Puzzled, she tilts her head at you. Cute.

“When you’re sexually aroused, you get wet… or to say it scientifically, females typically release this lubrication to help with friction,” you explain, your heart warming at how wholesome this moment seems.

She nods her head in understanding. “Oh…”

Her face turns a deep red as if she just noticed that she’s wet because of you. You giggle at her, placing your hands on her inner thighs and gliding them up and down the length of her femur.

“So you want me to make you come?” you grin at her, bringing her back to her previous command.

“Yeah… I want to feel it,” she admits shyly, and you notice her hips rolling into the bed. Her cunt glistens, the thought of her taste making your mouth water. 

Before you give her what she wants, you want something from her first. “Beg for it.”

It’s most likely the first time that anyone’s ever requested such a thing, making her beg for something she wants. You smile in amusement as her eyebrows furrow at you, hardening her gaze in what you guess is a glare. 

You say nothing, waiting for her to comply. You want to hear Mikasa Ackerman, the strongest woman you know, to beg for you. For you and only you.

You continue to tease her, tracing around her inner thighs, going up to her hips, to her folds. You lean down and kiss her thighs, getting closer and closer to her cunt. She whines, her hands grabbing your hair to try to push you into her pussy, but you tense your head to prevent her from moving you. 

“Please…” she whimpers just barely above a whisper, and you perk up at her in surprise. You asked for it, but you didn’t actually believe that she would. 

“What was that?” you taunt, daring her to show you just how desperate she is.

She groans restlessly, attempting to roll her hips up to your face. “Please make me come…”

It comes out as a plea, this time it’s louder. It’s so hot coming out of Mikasa’s mouth, hot enough for your own cunt to beg for more. That’s enough for you to wrap your arms around her thighs, keeping them spread while you dip your head to her leaking cunt. 

“Fuck!” she cries out as you lick a long stripe along her slit, just barely grazing her clit. You moan at her taste, at her touch on your hair, at the sound of her whines. She makes you want to fuck her until she passes out.

You dig your tongue into her pussy to find her clit, and you lap deeply in her, slowly curling your tongue up and pulling out. She moans your name, gasping, whining, squirming at the way your tongue fucks her. It’s a beautiful sight, you think, that makes the world a beautiful place.

Her face twists with pleasure, her mouth open as whines and moans fall out, her abdomen tense and her back arches off the bed. Her chest pops out, nipples perked and her face is hot, the room is hot. 

You flick your tongue faster into her, making sure to sharply curl it to hit the roof of her clit. She tastes so good. You wish you could taste her like this for the rest of your life. 

“Oh, fuck,” she moans, her fingers tugging at your hair that makes a moan vibrate into her cunt. “It feels… so good.”

Your mouth sucks her clit, bringing one hand up to her pussy and sliding two fingers smoothly into her wet, sopping cunt. She screams your name, and you moan out to her in response, watching her body flex under you.

You pace quickens, your fingers curling up into her and wet noises sound from her pussy. It drives you insane.

Just by the curl of your fingers, you know you’ve hit the right spot when she cries, “Oh!”

Her walls tighten around you, feeling her contract. She’s close. You moan into her again, hearing her whines get higher in pitch. It’s like a song from an angel. 

“I - think I’m…”

With a loud, broken moan of your name, she comes, her head throwing back against the bed as her hips buck into your face, and you continue fucking her through her high and stop when she slows. 

Removing yourself from her, you sit up, the both of you catching your breath. Your chin is wet with her arousal, your tongue relishing the taste of her. You’ve never experienced something more beautiful, more perfect than this. 

You lean over to her, finding her eyes glazed on the ceiling as she recovers. You kiss her gently, cupping her jaw while stroking her cheek with your thumb. You run your thumb over the scar under her right eye, tracing it gently.

“How’d it feel?” you inquire as you break away from her, meeting her eyes dreamily.

“Breathtaking,” she gawks at you, reaching up to kiss you again.

You smile against her lips, chuckling lightly. “I’m glad you learned how to be pleased.”

She cups your jaw with her hands as she pulls away, revealing a genuine, blissful smile. 

“Thank you… I can’t thank you enough,” she flushes, wrapping her hands around your neck.

You say nothing, kissing her to silently say “you’re welcome.”

“Come on, we should get some sleep,” you roll to the side, bringing her chin to meet you in a kiss. 

“Turn over first. I want to hold you,” she murmurs against your lips. You blush, your heart melting at her. You comply, facing away from her. You feel her legs tangle with yours, her arm wrapping delicately around your waist. She kisses the back of your neck. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“Goodnight, Mikasa,” you whisper, intertwining your hand with hers at your waist.

“Goodnight, my beautiful girl.”

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

I am bored and want to do more of my ideas/scenarios I've thought of for the demon brothers🤓

Context: I myself am a bisexual woman so I was wondering just how much the brothers know of sexuality and how they would react to a MC that is bisexual.

!This MC is female in this scenario!

Lucifer

He isn't too thrilled only because he will have even more competition when it comes to getting your attention or even your heart. He doesn't care for sexuality and stuff along those lines he is one for being yourself and sticking to what you want and think is best for you. That said when you do break the news to him his only reaction is to sigh if you were scared to tell him such information "do you really think something that small would bother me?" Is all he says completely unfazed.

Mammon

He's been to many parties and has seen women on women or men on men and those aren't him so why should he care? When you break it to him you are bi he stalls for a bit. Number one huh? The human likes even more people other than myself? He thinks. Number two he asks odd questions such as "does that mean ya can date both at the same time er somethin?" After explaining a lot he understands and never really was bothered from it in the beginning but as he sees your eyes linger on women he feels more jealousy rise up because he knows women are prettier than he is. (Not true I still love ya mams)

Levi

He is another one who doesn't care when it comes to that stuff he's seen many people in his anime fandoms fight over that type of thing and he ignores it because he has no interest in arguing over petty stuff. When he hears your confession he just smiles nervously and asks "well... please don't leave me for a pretty woman then..." And you have to comfort him saying you still only want him. His envy isn't too fond of this information but he still supports and loves you for you.

Satan

He has read many books on the subject of sexuality and gender and other terms. He himself tried to identify what he is but that only caused a headache cause he wasn't romantically interested in someone until you came along. Once you said what sexuality you were he just smiled and said he supports you. He already knew of what bi-sexual meant and he suddenly buys you many things and books with bi-sexual characters or the image of the flag on them. (Supportive king!)

Asmos

He is the most knowledgeable about all of that so don't even fret he knew what you were long before you told him. Even when you did he just shushed you and said "honey trust me I already know" and he goes about his day. He is open about his sexuality and often times begs Lucifer to let them go into the human world for pride parades so both you and him can show off your true beautiful sexuality proudly.

Beel

He of course has some knowledge from being around asmos so much so he knew a little. He doesn't care for others love lives so he was never judgemental and still isn't. When you told him he was just happy you trusted him enough to tell him. He fully supported you even though he was confused on some things but you and asmos help him out. He definitely protects you from homophobic demons or others.

Belphie

This man is constantly asleep so why would he have any knowledge of that sort of thing? Once you tell him it's a long drawn out process of him asking dumb questions. He eventually gets there and he even before couldn't care what you are other than his. He supports you and defends you but in general treats you the same you are still just his human bi-sexual or not. He still doesn't like when others learn this and more come onto you but it's to be expected you are a pretty human.

[woso-fan91]

Second Chance At Love? (Part 2)

Surprised you quickly stood up almost falling over your own feet as you moved closer to Ona, scared that if you move to quickly she would run away or you would just wake from the dream: „Hola mi vida…“

Ona raised her hand in warning: „No Y/n. You don‘t get to do that… you lost your right to call me that!“

Ashamed you looked to the floor before looking at the defender: „Lo siento Ona. You‘re right I lost the right to call you that. I spoke out of habit and for that I apologize…“ Ona crossed her arms infront of her chest: „You said, you would be honest with me. Said that you changed… that you would do anything I say… Do you mean that?“

The million Dollar question you figured, while you looked into her hazel eyes you decided to be honest for once: „Si, I meant every word.“

Ona looked at you with with conflicting emotions running from fear, to sadness, to exhaustion, to uncertainty and everything was underlined with the adoration she felt for you ever since you two were kids and ran around the backyard: „I think we should talk in private, no?“ You nodded looking insecure: „Do you have time now?“ Ona nodded and said goodbye to the kids around you. You followed her example and followed Ona not exactly knowing where she would take you.

To your surprise Ona took you to the beach where you shared your first kiss in 2011 just before she went and joined La Masia. You watched her curiously knowing to not push her when she was thinking so you decided to sit in the sand and just watch her for now. You missed her, her humor, her laugh, her eyes, her dimples, the way she would smile at you, when you were cuddled and cozied up on the couch. Involuntarily you smiled.

Ona looked at you: „What‘s so funny Y/n?“ You looked at her: „Nothing… just realized your habits didn‘t exactly change and you have gotten more beautiful over the last three years.“ Ona felt the blush creep up her cheeks but decided to get this talk back on track: „Thank you… but you said you‘d do anything I said…“ Quickly you nodded: „Yes.“ The defender sat down beside you: „Why?“ Curiously you ask: „Why what?“ Ona rolled her eyes: „Why did you break up with me? Why did you break my heart, forcing me to move to England…“

You looked over the water pulling your legs to your chest: „I suppose I owe you this explaination… You know that I was always your biggest supporter when it came to your career Ona. I was so fucking proud when you got accepted into La Masia, knowing it was your dream… Knowing that I had to take a second role in your life so you could focus on your career. I loved to watch you thrive on the pitch and I loved my role as the supporting girlfriend, even figuring out that I could get use to the WAG life… But I knew as well that you felt bad to push me into the back. Missing our anniversaries, the birthdays, the holidays and whenever we were together you were tired or your mind was already on the next games. I read about the rumors that United was interested in signing you and I knew back than that it would be beneficial for your career and the way you would develop as a player. When we saw eachother again you told me, you received the offer but you wanted to decline it… Decline it because of me and I could never accept that. Never accept that you would put me over your career. You will achieve big things Ona, maybe there‘ll be a Ballon d‘Or on the horizont for you and before you object, I sincerely believe that because I know what a great player you are. So I made the hardest decision in my life and broke up with you although I was and still am madly and deeply in love with you. I knew when I broke your heart, you would take Uniteds offer and go be the amazing player I knew you were back than…“

Ona listened intently watching her first and true love finally putting the truth out for her to hear.

You looked into her eyes: „I knew you would hate me for that, but I figured that you would be able to eventually understand why I did what I did. I know I hurt you Ona and for that, I will be forever sorry and I will happily apologize every single day for the rest of our lifes if that is what you want. I never missed a single game you played and I always was your biggest support. I know or rather read that your heart may now belong to a certain English right-back and I accept that Ona, I do. All I ever wanted for you was to be happy and unapologatically yourself.“

Ona locked eyes with you knowing you mean the pictures with Lucy. Her mentor and good friend… Lucy was funny, honest and insanely beautiful and talented but they were close friends but that was all because you were in the picture and even as you broke her heart back than you were her person, her soulmate, her other half. Also a little part of her was scared, scared you would hurt her again: „You still love me?“

You smiled slightly at her: „Si, I‘m still very much head over heels in love with you Ona. Always have and always will be. If the choice would be mine, I would marry you right here, right now because I know I will never ever love someone like I love you.“

Ona laughed freely and leaned closer to you: „Easy cariño, or I will take you up on that offer.“

You smirked leaning closer to her irresistable lips: „I‘m not stopping you on taking me up on this offer… I had the ring ever since we were 18 and I intent to use it if you give me the chance.“ Ona enjoyed your warm breath on her lips: „No more breaking up and no more lies?“ Immediatly you nodded your head: „No more. Never again mi vida. I will happily be in your corner as whatever you want me to be.“ Ona couldn‘t wait anymore and finally kissed you after those long three years apart.

You kissed her back with the same intensity your defender showed you as she mumled: „How does girlfriend sound for now?“ You looked up: „For now?“ Ona stoked along your cheek: „Si, for now… after all I will be your wife one day.“

With a happy laugh you pulled Ona into your lap and kissed her again before mumbling: „Te quiero bebe… I love you so fucking much!“ Ona staddled you her arms wrapping around your neck: „I love you too. Can‘t wait for our future together cariño.“

[dreamtydraw]

We need to talk about the patreon and fan treatment.

I know a lot of people are happy about the patreon cause it means they get new stuff or opportunities if they missed the Kickstarter for Touch starved But as a backer who pledged some good money, endured the full year of shallow / empty reposted content regarding the game and is now told the basic fandom interaction that I should receive is paywalled I’m upset.

Didn’t we all saw the amount of money received upon Kickstarter ? Why isn’t the patreon just an offer that means people gets the Kickstarter monthly update if they couldn’t support before ??? Why is something that should be either directly free or to some tier of the Kickstarter who paid a lot ( not even talking about me, talking about people who paid over 300€ ) is now asked again ? For what reason do they need to set up a patreon if we aren’t even promised an expended demo in the waiting of another year ???

Even if it’s a small new studio the devs aren’t new and have knowelge regarding fandoms and visual novel development. The last legacy social media was praised because of how nice the post were for the comunity ( we’re talking lore and shitpost type of post ).

The patreon was announced 4 days ago and is now said to release in 4 days…. You realize that it means that a no moment the devs were planning on hearing people’s opinion about it ??? They never been this fast for an announcement and it’s concerning money !? Why is there no testing water ? Why is there no reading the comments of upset Kickstarter backers who propose the alternative to have the patreon release the same infos as the Kickstarter infos so it would give a fair chance to everyone ? Where is the sense of comunity here ???

Now reposting directly what I said on my insta stories :

This is me being upset but remember that i’m upset because I like the premise of this game and had a really big interest and love for it, I’m not being a Hater just for hating I am upset as someone who like the game and what I was promised.

Since I already paid and will receive a game key I will play the game once it’s out because I have no doubt it will be good I am nowhere downplaying how well crafted this game will be I’m just saying that the devs are not treating the fans well enough in return for the boost the comunity is giving them.

Now regarding this post, I am Upset and my opinion won’t change unless the dev actively do something about it so there is no need to try defending them. If you leave a comment in their support I will simply not interact as You have the right to have your opinion but mine is currently settled.

Have a good day and thank you for taking the time to read.

[bridgetoesoteria]

Sweet Sweet Revenge 😈 (PAC)....

I'm baaack, and I've got a spicy reading for us. Some people did vote for a revenge fantasy on the last poll, so here it is. How can you get your lick back (I am not telling anyone to go out & do any of these things).

Just two piles today, left to right as per us:

I will be pulling multiple cards so I won't have the cards listed like usual.

Pile 1

Off the Bat: I am getting the vibe that this is an ex-boyfriend for some of you, or a current partner (interesting..). For some of you, the ultimate revenge would be getting with someone in their social circle. For some of you its a specific person, like their cousin; For others, it could be anyone that is connected to them somehow, because they would find it humiliating. It would eat them alive, especially if you are already ignoring them.

Even after pulling cards, I still get this vibe of moving on. It might not even be a full fledged relationship. If you are experiencing different partners, following your heart/passions, it would eat them alive. Maybe they wanted to keep you ignorant to what else is out there. You discovering someone who treats you better or "treats" you better (wink wink), would keep them up at night.

If some of you were in some kind of third-party, or if you know of something else underhanded that was going on, revealing the truth would probably cause a huge tower moment in their life. It could impact their home, their finances, their ego. Lol I'm also getting the energy of standing someone up. There are a few cards I associate with waiting, followed by the world card, which I would consider the closing of a cycle. So, pretending you want to try again, then just not following through on whatever you promised would hurt them. They would feel small, and be upset they fell for something so petty. Perhaps they have made you feel like this in the past.

Clarified and still getting the energy of ending something and taking a leap of faith. For some this isn't romantic. There could be a domineering energy in your life, some examples: strict religious/spiritual community, father figure, structured environment like college or an office. Speaking your truth, defending yourself against any manipulative attempts at reeling you back in, would be crushing, I'm assuming since its coming up in a revenge reading. I think that could be because this person cares a lot about how they are perceived. Some of you could be a pastors daughter or have a parent that is a public figure. So they try to control you, because they see you as an extension of themselves, therefore your reputation is their reputation. (Not really but that's how they think).

These are some controlling mofos. So the ultimate revenge is really taking charge of your life.

Pile 2

Off the Bat: So, right away, I am hearing "nemesis" lol, so this may not be your first tango with this person. You could have gotten in fights or disagreements before. Someone has a feisty personality, I'm not sure if it's you or the other person though. I'm seeing white tennis shoes, so that could be significant in a way. And pink rain boots.

For some of you I am hearing, "cut this person off financially". So, maybe you are a provider or help out in some way. Oof, I would really hope no one is biting the hand that feeds them smh. I'm seeing an older southern woman, she may or may not be well off. Okay, now this is pile is feelin a little scandalous..some y'all might really be about that life lol

For some of you it could be you turning people against this person, or ruining their reputation. It could involve getting them written out of a will. Taking their place somehow, it could be to do with the inheritance or something like being in a play or on a cheer squad. There could be a specific person you want to see affected by this, besides the main target of your revenge. Maybe this other person puts them on a pedestal, and you want to ruin the image that other person has of them. For some you this could be as messy as objecting at a wedding, crashing a date, or even getting with someone's partner. I'm hearing "little miss sunshine," so maybe this person is seen as sweet and like they can do no wrong.

I think a lot of you already have some ideas for what you would want to do. I don't think you act on it, but you might enjoy sitting back and thinking of all the "what ifs". I've also been hearing "peekaboo", so there is definitely an element of surprise here. You probably would not tell anyone about this plan. If you aren't crashing someone else's wedding, it could be your own?? Maybe you have considered leaving them at the altar, or just completely ghosting. Like falling off the face of the earth, no one knows where you are, or what you're doing.

If this person upended your life, you want turn their upside down too. They could have brought a lot of challenges and strife into your world. If this person has tried to make you a "mini me" in some way, or they have tried gaslighting you or keeping you in a state of confusing. Thinking for yourself, accepting the actual reality of the situation--not the reality they have been trying to sell you--, and moving on would "put this person in their place". It would especially hurt them if you leaving would mean you're in the 5 of pentacles somehow: less money, less of a social circle, single (because you would be leaving them).

An Aside: If any of you are thinking about causing serious physical harm to someone, please speak to a therapist about this. If a person really hurt you, it's understandable to be angry, but you don't want to be in an even worse situation. And it would probably feel nice to be able to get it off your chest, in a non judgmental environment

[fizzy-fuzz]

Hi! I saw that your requests are open? I apologize if this request is a bit too uncomfortable for you.

I would like to request some preferably headcanons of SCP-073 and SCP-076-2 when they find out they have feelings for a (preferably male please, there's too many females out there already ;-;, no offense for the women out there) Researcher? Like how do they deal with it, how long it takes for them to confess, etc?

I am desperate for some SCP-073 x Male!Reader, and SCP-076-2 x Male!Reader cause there's too many Female/Gender-Neutral (but still has female traits for some reason) reader ;-;

AN: Hello! Sorry this took awhile... I honestly kept rewriting this because I wasn't sure how to make this feel like it was written for a man, and not just something vague for everyone.

I added a few headcanons for how they'd treat a male lover over a female, So i hope this is okay for you.

if not I'd love to hear some tips on how to make it better, if you're willing to give feedback <3 (just message me, or send in another ask. I can't reply to comments since this isn't my main account)

SCP-073 (Cain)

⁠You both probably ment pretty casually. Maybe during lunch or just passing by in the hallways.

Cain didn't think much of you at first honestly.

Until he was passing by your office and heard you arguing with another researcher about the ethics of using him as an live information vault.

He stopped for a moment and lingered outside of your office, listening to you rant about how it wasn't fair to him.

He was honestly shocked, in a good way.

Cain was used to people being... Decent to him, sure.

But to have someone so passionately argue his happiness?

Unheard of.

Cain is quick to fall for you after that, and boy does he fall hard.

he deals with these new feelings by following his heart blindly.

Often hanging around you and lending hands wherever he can.

When he works up the courage his confession is sickly sweet, filled with stutters and nervous chuckles.

I also feel like he's the type of guy to write a confession poem.

He's just whipped like that.

If you accept, (which honestly, who would reject him?) He'll be overjoyed!

Man or not, Cain takes the lead in the relationship for the most part.

Throwing an arm around your shoulders, holding doors for you, giving you flowers (plastic, of course)

though, I do think he treats a male lover slightly different then a female.

He's slightly less watchful over you, less protective in general.

It's not that he cares less, just that he's less worried about you.

Also, for some reason I feel like he'd play wrestle with a male lover a lot.

Expect to be put in a gentle/playful headlock.

At the end of the day, Cain is still the sweet golden retriever boy he is.

That definitely doesn't change at all.

SCP-076-2 (Able)

He ment you during one of his rampages, when you got separated from the task force that was escorting you to safety.

Left alone with nothing but a small pistol to defend yourself with.

He quickly gained a large portion of respect for you when you held your ground against him despite being just a researcher.

Not once did you look cowardly or frightened, clutching your guns with a rather good poster and stance, despite your minimal combat training.

Truly a respectable sight to behold.

And Able knows a warrior when he sees one.

In fact, you were so ferocious that he paused his pursuit for just a moment to study you.

A moment long enough for you to shove your gun to his chin and blow his brains out.

I would say that's when the first few sparks flew for him.

After that, every other rampage was spent looking for you, and ending with you putting a bullet through his head.

I don't think he's all that in tune with his feelings, so he definitely doesn't get that what he's feeling is attraction, and not just respect/interest

He's got a thick skull, it takes him awhile...

But when he does realize. he's confused, and a little unsure of himself.

He's really never felt this way about a man before.

He's never felt this way about anyone before.

He's felt pretty much nothing but anger and desire for vengeance for such a long time, that this new feeling is as overwhelming as it is relieving.

I imagine he holes himself up within SCP-076-1 for a few days he learns to deal with these new feelings.

Of course you're the one sent in to confront him about his sudden strange behavior.

Since he's somewhat more docile around you.

This is when he takes his opportunity to confess to you.

Don't expect anything heartfelt or romantic, it's more of a spur-of-the-moment decision then anything.

And don't expect any hints beforehand.

He doesn't get a whole lot of privacy, so he thought it'd be a good spot to do so.

You'd probably be pretty confused i'd imagine, considering you thought he had some sort of bloodlust for you.

Turns out it was a different kind of lust

but we're gonna assume you don't reject his sudden confession, and choose to start a relationship with him.

Contrary to Cain, you're going to have to take the lead with this relationship.

I just can't imagine him being a very confident lover.

Confident in battle yes, but in the art of love? Nah, it's just not happening.

I don't think he'd treat a male lover any differently than a female lover.

I just don't think he's aware of typical relationship "gender norms" like that.

He's just as likely to follow you around frothing at the mouth whenever someone gets to close for his liking as he is a woman.

He's very jealous...

But overall, his dreams for you and him stay the same regardless of gender.

To live somewhere remote where it's just you, him, and his herd of sheep.

[wonijinjin]

figure you out

author’s note: the request can be found here

synopsis: the members of seventeen think you look rather scary while dino says otherwise, but who is right?

word count: 1.6k | genre: fluff, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort | pairing: idol! dino x gn! idol! reader | warnings: reader has low self esteem in some parts

you have always been told that you look intimidating, but until the point of getting to know seventeen you never really believed it. you were the leader of the newly debuted group of HYBE, and with that title came many responsibilities; you had never imagined this to be as hard as it was, always keeping everything you had to do as a leader in mind is a tough job for sure, so you being stressed was an understatement.

chan first saw you at the HYBE building, walking to (he supposed was) practice, a frown evident on your face the whole time, only forming into a shy smile when you greeted him with a bow. first he thought you were kind of scary, he never saw you really smile, a somewhat sad and tired look always being prominent on your face. it was rare to see you show many emotions during times he got the chance to see you, but when you did he felt he was hit by cupid; your laugh (which he sadly couldn’t hear often) would always light up the hallway, and he always caught himself smiling when he heard it.

of course it is not a surprise that soon enough the other members of seventeen caught up to his lovesick look when he saw you even for a moment. “chan, are you kidding me? you have a crush on y/n? but how? like no offense or anything, but y/n always gives everyone this angry look and never talks to anyone, it is kinda scary to be honest.” dk asked him when they decided to take a break during dance practice. “and y/n also has a laugh that is so beautiful, i am not threatened by a frown, i want to hear that laugh again, i want to hear it again because i made y/n laugh.” he said while having that warm look on his face again, even just the thought of you made him excited and happy. “also, you are quite rude to be judging a person by their appearance, you know?” chan answered while raising his brows in disagreement. “okay i’m just saying! you really are interested in y/n, huh? i have never seen you defend someone this quickly, well except for our members of course.” dk sighed.

a week after this conversation the members decided to take matters into their own hands; they needed to figure out what kind of person you were, after all it was about their dear youngest member’s emotions, which they wanted to protect at all costs.

the duo of mingyu and scoups took on the responsibility of stalking you after schedules, which you of course didn’t know about. you often stayed behind after schedules so they followed you to the practice room, and peeked in, watching you get to work with your debut song’s choreo, while preparing for your first comeback’s dances aswell. they watched as you fell, trying to learn one of the difficult moves over and over again, with not much success. ten minutes later there you were, on the floor, panting, silently sobbing. “how am i in this group in the first place? why can’t i learn faster? the others depend on me, i need to get this right to help them!” you mumbled to yourself, trying to collect some motivation to continue.

“poor little thing.” scoups said, knowing how difficult it is for a leader to always be on top of the situation. “i remember how hard we had to work even in our rookie days, this brings back memories.” mingyu added. meanwhile you stood up and collected your belongings, ready to leave the room. “oh wait y/n has already finished, let’s go.” mingyu whispered, dragging scoups with him so you wouldn’t see them.

next time the members of seventeen got to see a bit more of you was at lunchtime in the cafeteria of HYBE, where you sat alone, laptop next to you. you were interacting with your fans on Weverse, which they learned was a frequent activity of yours; you wanted to communicate with them as much as you could, so even during lunch you couldn’t miss commenting on posts and telling the fans to always eat and sleep well in cute little videos. after being done with your SNS duties, you continued work with writing lyrics for your already half-finished solo song which you hoped would be included on an album one day, also practicing for helping in future productions for your group.

“woah, y/n is still working even at lunch?” joshua pointed in your direction from the other side, dk whom he was with snapping his head where you sat. “where are the other group members though?” dk questioned, confused. “i just saw them leave as they were done for the day.” joshua replied. “so they really left y/n here alone? man, that is kind of sad.” you finished your lunch and got up, leaving quickly. joshua and dk were curious about where you headed as anyone who was done with their day at work would’ve definitely gone home. well, not you, you went to practice your vocals a bit in the vocal room, they could clearly hear your voice from the halllway. “damn, y/n has a great voice.” joshua said, dk agreeing. “and i didn’t know they had a song like this!” dk raised his brows, further listening to the lyrics. “because they don’t! i think y/n may have written this! so this must be what all that work earlier was about!” joshua figured. it has to be said; they were pretty impressed by your passion and hard work, so much so that they were starting to feel guilty about questioning why chan had a crush on you.

“honestly, y/n is a pretty cool person, next time we shouldn’t judge only depending on a first impression.” scoups said when the members were together at a restaurant, at their monthly dinner meeting. “see? i told you, and i bet y/n is so much more kindhearted, we just haven’t seen enough yet.” chan replied, finally satisfied with his members liking you. to their surprise you entered the room with a mop in your hand, apron on your waist. when you saw them your face went pale for a moment, not knowing how to act with your seniors all at a table on the opposite side. seungkwan was the first to talk to you, saying hi and questioning why you were there dressed like a worker of the place. “well, actually this restaurant is my grandparents’ and on days i have time i always come by to help them, especially with cleaning so they don’t have to do it after closing.” you replied with a small smile. “seriously? this is so considerate of you, on top of everything you still help them, you are so sweet!” chan said as the others were too stunned to speak; never in their lives did they imagine you to be this responsible and humble. “well, i am trying my best to be helpful.” you chuckled, which made chan’s heart jump.

after finishing their meal the members were getting ready to leave when chan spoke up. “i will stay a bit more, seeing if i can help y/n with anything here.” this earned a knowing look from his members, patting him on the back as they left. you came outside only to find him standing in front of you. “do you need help with anything? i thought i might ask you know, it must be hard to handle this all by yourself.” he grinned, to which you replied with a giggle. “thank you, but i don’t need any help. don’t you have somethingto say to me though? perhaps another reason why you stayed behind?” you grinned, waiting for him to realise that you knew; you saw how he looked at you many times when you two ran into each other at the company building. “was i that obvious? this is kind of embarrassing then, as you already know that i want to confess to you.” he blushed. “i was wondering why you never came up to me to be honest.” he looked away. “well, you always looked like you didn’t want anybody to speak to you, or like you could fall asleep every minute, so it wasn’t quite easy to approach you.” he said in a lower tone. “am i really that scary to people around me? for real?” your jaw was on the floor, not believing that the things people say about you always looking kind of unfriendly was true. “yeah…the members thought you seemed too cold-looking fir a period of time…” chan admitted, not daring to look into your eyes. “but

that has changed of course, they really admire you, just like i do.” he quickly added. “i am so sorry, i just look like that, i have many things to do so i don’t get much sleep and i am always lost in thought, so that must explain the frown.” you looked down, feeling bad that the members didn’t like you, even to the point of needing to be convinced somehow. he moved closer to you. “i don’t mind it. i like you the way you are y/n. i think i have been having a crush on you since the first moment i saw you, frown or not, i like really like you, and i want to get to know you better in the future.” he whispered, his eyes looking at your lips. “well i like you too, but are you gonna kiss me already or am i still that scary then?” you mumbled. he didn’t need anything else to give him a green light, kissing you quickly. after pulling apart he laughed. “then would you be mine?” he asked. “i am already yours, chan.”

[idyllic-affections]

dad!pantalone.

summary. what would the regrator be like as a father?

trigger & content warnings. child abandonment (not really; pantalone just hands his kid over to arlecchino rather than raising them himself).

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, slight angst. pantalone & child!reader, arlecchino & child!reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. prev | next

author's thoughts. i'm starting to post more on tumblr than i am on quotev ummm.... whoops! /lh i was drafting a series based on this concept, but i honestly don't know if it'll ever see the light of day, so instead, i will ramble about my thoughts! pantalone is nearsighted in this brainrot because i'm nearsighted and therefore can write from experience.

"he's evil" i know but hear me out!!

i think pantalone would be a good dad, but not at first.

no, no, at first he hands his child off to arlecchino to raise in the house of hearth, because there's no way in hell he's just... abandoning them. the thought alone makes him sick. the thought of his own little one potentially being exposed to harm and poverty like he was? unacceptable. forbidden. he hates that thought.

even if he's handed them off to the knave, she finds it awfully suspicious (and quite annoying...) that he's always visiting them. constantly. all the time. doesn't he have things to do..?

"i thought you had no interest in caring for them, regrator," she'd huff, recalling the funds he donates that are specifically designated to be used on them alone (which are always enough to fund the entire orphanage for at least a month), "do you want them or not?"

he doesn't have a conclusive answer, really.

by the time they're five, they already know very well who he is and why he's always around. well... perhaps not why he's always around. they don't really understand it. they just know that he is their father and that their mother is nowhere to be found. arlecchino said that it's complicated, why he's always around but doesn't seem to want to keep them.

becoming of age to start training was easily the worst thing to happen to them.

they were smart, as evidenced by their excellent grades.

they, however, were not strong.

repeatedly, they were embarrassed in front of the harbingers (those who made time to be there, anyway). over. and over. and over. it's humiliating. they hate it.

at least they aren't being made fun of, but they know very well that's only because everyone knows their origins.

still, it's not their fault that they just... aren't that strong.

it doesn't help that they can't see anything clearly if it's more than a few inches away from their face.

...

of course, pantalone notices this. they have his eyes in more ways than one—both in terms of color, and in terms of the fact that they can't fucking see. he gets it. perhaps that's why they're struggling so terribly?

then again, he isn't all that physically strong either. he wasn't blessed by the gods, nor was it easy for him to defend himself. it was his influential power that earned him his position.

so, when their training is over, all of the other children scurrying off out of fear of the harbingers, pantalone lowers himself to their height with a kind smile.

(he's a man of prestige, but for them...

he supposes he can tolerate being so close to the floor for a few moments.)

he's gentle when he brushes the hair away from their face, whispering sweetly, "would you like to come home with me, little one? this life isn't suited for someone of your bloodline."

all they can do is nod breathlessly.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!